Latibær Books Translated:

[EmAsPerUsual]

So, as a way of practicing my translating, I'm going through the Latibær books written between 1995 and 1997 and doing my own translation. There's already a complete translation by someone else on Tumblr, but, well, a lot of people here really don't like Tumblr. I have the first chapter of the first book ready now, so I'll post it. If you see a * followed by a number, that means that this specific tidbit has a Translator’s Note, which may or may not be just ranting about how stupid these books are, but it’ll usually be something actually relevant to translating this stuff.




Page 8 begins the story.

Lazytown

The poor sun tried to hide behind the clouds so that it would not need to shine it’s light over the rooftops in the one town between the high mountains not very far from here. The situation was so bad that even the clouds in the sky hoped to get away as soon as possible. When looked at closely, there wasn’t much life to see in this town. In reality nothing showed any signs of life at all. All the streets we empty with no children playing or adults at work. The playgrounds were empty and the spiders had woven webs on swings and slides and almost all of the playground equipment. It was plain to see that they hadn’t been used for a long time. The gym was collapsing and no one had stepped foot in there for a long, long time.

You are perhaps wondering how such a town could be. Does no one live in this town?

It’s not that there are no townspeople, rather that all the townspeople are either lazy, exhausted or they have no idea what they should do.


(Page 9):

It’s not a surprise that you see no kids outside playing at all in this town. They had long ago forgotten all the games and didn’t know hopscotch, for example. They didn’t at all know how to play Ólsen, Ólsen or even how to run in the Big Fish Game. *1 They were inside all day, watching videos or playing computer games and they forgot long ago how to play outside. There were even kids who couldn’t be bothered to go to school. Because of that, they knew nothing at all. They didn’t know how to count, or how to write, or even how to draw. Imagine that. The only thing they knew was to eat candy and sit in front of the TV.

I don’t remember what this town was called *2 At one time, it had a very beautiful name but that was many years ago. Now it was called Lazytown which is not an especially beautiful name. Imagine living in Lazytown! If the townspeople need to go anywhere the all traveled by car.

It goes without saying that the pollution and the smoke from all the cars was so bad that you sometimes couldn’t see between houses. All of the children pestered their parents if they needed to go somewhere. They never thought to walk or go anywhere by themselves except to be driven.

Well, like you saw this town is not an ordinary town. The problem was simply that everyone was so terribly lazy.

I said everyone but that is not completely right. There was exactly one man who was not at all so lazy. That was the mayor. He was really the only one who bothered to move around.

The poor mayor was very upset with the townspeople’s behavior. He had once been an athlete. When he was young he ran a marathon, competed in shot put and was very good at football*3. When he grew older he had so much to do that he gradually stopped being active. That’s a danger for people who have too much to do. They often forget to think about their health. The mayor was watching the citizens become lazier and lazier with every year. He was even more worried when the kids stopped being able to play.



(Page 10):

There was also a candy boy living there. He was called Siggi Sweet*4 because he ate so much candy. Siggi Sweet ate neither more nor less than seventy caramels a day and once ate 40 Easter Eggs! Yes, Siggi Sweet did nothing else all day but buy candy. He also had candy sent home from the shop because he couldn’t be bothered to walk out to a store.

And then there was Maggi Scraggy*5. He was so thin that his socks would not stay up. They ran down his legs. He was always trying to pull them higher up but they always ran down again. To tell the truth, Maggi Scraggy didn’t eat much food. He didn’t want meat and he didn’t eat yogurt*6 so it was no wonder that his socks ran down his thin legs.

Then there was of course Halli Hooligan*7. He was always teasing everyone. He yelled down from the balcony of his house so that in rang out over the neighborhood. He called all the kids names and had to kick them or pull the hair of kids who walked by his block. Halli Hooligan had a slingshot and he usually had it with him in the neighborhood and shot rock hard beans that his mom had stopped using. Halli Hooligan shot like crazy at all who came his way!

Translator’s Notes:

*1 There are a few references to Icelandic games here. Ólsen, Ólsen is a common card game, so I don’t know why it’s mentioned among physical games here. Think of it like Go Fish, an easy game that little kids know how to play. The Big Fish Game is a sort of tag game.

*2 The narrator is in the first person and often a bit confusing. In this version of the story, Lazytown is actually a nickname the town was given when it became lazy, with its true name being revealed at the end of the both. Despite the titles of the next two books still referring to Lazytown, the town is called its true name by the narrator and characters of the second and third books.

*3 Obviously, by football, they mean what Americans call soccer. Even though I’m American, I’m still translating it as football.

*4 Most Icelanders don’t actually have last names, and these characters are no exception. THESE ARE NICKNAMES, NOT LAST NAMES. Siggi’s nickname is Siggi Sæti, with Sæti meaning sweet, so I’m writing it as Siggi Sweet for clarity.

*5 Maggi’s nickname is Mjói, meaning thin. Scraggy is a synonym for thin that rhymes. (Well, if you pronounce it inaccurately, as an English speaker just seeing the word ) Maggi is the character who will eventually be Jives, for anyone who couldn’t tell. The traits that made Jives Jives took a while to appear.

*6 The Icelandic food named here is skyr, a type of yogurt, which I’m just writing as yogurt for clarity.

*7 First of all, yes, Halla was originally a boy without the twin sister he’d gain in the third book. Solla’s the only girl child in this book. Second, Hrekkjusvín, his nickname, is a compound word. Hrekkju, or Hrekkja, means bully or tease and Svín, means swine, so the whole word used to mean bully is Teasing Swine. I used Hooligan here to get that idea across while keeping the alliteration.

Final Note: A lot of narration in the book is in the present tense, but it sounded odd when I translated it that way, so I wrote a lot of it in the past tense instead. Also, this chapter stops pretty abruptly and sometime paragraphs don’t flow together very well. This is the way it was in the book. I’m just translating what’s there, so any oddities in pacing or formatting are not the fault of the translator, hopefully. I am proofreading this pretty carefully.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

Here's another chapter:



(Page 11):

2. The Letter

One day the mayor got a letter. *1 Of course he didn’t get the letter from his mailbox like we do. He had to get it from the post office himself. When he opened the letter he saw that it was from the president. The president had decided that, all over the country, every city, town, and village would hold a sports festival. This festival had to happen in one week.

The poor mayor knew that no one in the town took part in sporting events. Now this was a good opportunity. What would he do.*2. He thought about ways to inform the townspeople. Perhaps it would be best to go and knock on the door and talk to the oldest. Maybe he could pay a visit to Stína the old chatterbox who knew everyone in town. She could tell the townspeople about the festival and similar news and some of them might come. The mayor pondered the different ideas about how he could get the townspeople to take part in the sports festival.



(Page 12):

Right after noon he decided to get going and walk from house to house. He hoped that the townspeople would take the advice of two people and agree to take part in the festival.

The mayor walked down the slope and the first house that he came to was the house of Grandpa Gústi *3. He knocked on the door and Gústi came out and said angrily:

“What are you knocking for, I’m watching the news.*2”



(Page 13):

Then the mayor answered:

I was thinking about whether or not you might be interested in working at a sports festival.”

“A sports festival! Oh, no, huh, retorted Grandpa Gústi, “In the evening I’m going to watch the news and then I’m going to watch more TV and more and more, until I fall asleep, like I do every evening.”

Then the mayor said:

“Yes, but wouldn’t you like to compete in the sports festival? Wouldn’t you like to see the town come to life and to teach the kids some games?”

“Teach kids games. No, in the old days I knew many games but now kids don’t want to learn any games. The just want to hang out inside and watch TV. That’s also what I’m going to do.”

Grandpa Gústi turned around and slammed the door right in the mayor’s face. The poor mayor went down the steps alone and walked away disappointed.

In Lazytown even the dogs were so lazy that they neither barked at cars nor strangers. When the mayor walked into the next yard the watchdog laid there half asleep and didn’t bother to even prick up its ears when he walked in front of him. In this house lived the most talkative old woman in town. She went by the name Stína Receiver*4. Like I told you earlier the mayor knew that she knew everyone and could advertise the festival while gossiping on the phone.

Stína Receiver was strange. When someone talked to her she told everything to the next person but of course on the phone *5! She was always on the phone deceiving and speaking ill of others. As soon as every visitor, who came to visit her, was gone then she’d call someone and start to babble. It was like this day in and day out. The mayor hardly dared to go up to her house. He knocked on the door and then heard the call:

“I’m on the phone! I’ll come in a moment.”

She was so curious and scared of missing something that she rushed to the window to see who had come. Then she opened the door and stood there with a cigarette in her mouth and blew smoke directly at the poor mayor.

As you undoubtedly know, smoking is extremely unhealthy.

He coughed: “Uh, uhh…” and waved his hand to deter the smoke away from his face.

“Dear madam, a great sports festival will be held here in town. For that reason I would like to ask you to call all your friends and ask them to take part in the sports festival. I’d never know if they might be interested.*6”



(Page 14):

The mayor blushed when she glowered at him. He continued:

“You see,” he stuttered, “Because you talk so much you’ve gotten to know many people. You could maybe get the word out and get everyone to take part in this festival.”

Of course the mayor knew that Stína was the most talkative old woman in town and would just have to say this.*7

“Why should I take part in some sports competition? Besides I never talk to anybody!” said Stína Receiver in protest.

She stormed in and slammed the door right in the mayor’s face. The mayor settled sadly on the steps and it was not long before tears formed in his eyes. What could he do to get the townspeople to take part in this sports festival that he was obligated to hold?



(Page 15):

You remember now that because the president sent him a letter that’s content was that everyone in the country would take part in the sports festival.

“We can’t let the town be known for not taking part in this celebration,” he thought.

Grandpa Gústi didn’t want to help and Stína Receiver didn’t either. What about the teenagers? *8 But the teenagers had become so lacking in stamina that they could no longer walk out to a store, let alone hold their own schoolbags! They had become so lacking in stamina that some needed to lie down four or five times a day. The mayor knew the struggle was hopeless and no one would help him.

When he sat there on the steps he then heard Stína Receiver inside in the house. She picked up the phone and called her friend.

“Do you know who was here?” she said soon afterwards. “Now, think…yeah…I say it again and again…oh, god, you know what…can you believe the dang mayor came here! Yes, he came walking, think about it,” she said scandalized, “He was on his knees on my doorstep and simply pleaded for me to save him. Yes, that’s what I’m saying. He asked me to save him.”

The mayor heard this and knew naturally right away that she was calling someone to complain.

She continued:

“Yes and you know what, he intends to go and hold some festival, some sports festival. I can only say that, even though I don’t usually speak ill of people, I don’t understand why he’s trying to struggle through this now. What does he think he’ll see exactly? I just think doesn’t see that nobody is willing to do this. I think that he can’t do that at all. No, he has no one in on this.”

After having listened to the babble of the old woman for a good time the mayor stood up and walked dejected out the gate. The dog, which lay in the garden, couldn’t be bothered to even open its eyes when he walked in front of it.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 This chapter is actually written in the past tense, unlike the last one. I have no idea why the tense shifted.

*2 Though this is a question, it was written with a period in the original text, so I left it that way. I don’t know if this was a mistake or something that’s correct in Icelandic.

*3 This character is Gústi Gamli. He’s not in any of the plays. Gamli means old, so, while preserving the alliteration, I decided to translate this as Grandpa Gústi, though Old Man Gústi would probably be more accurate.

*4 Stína Símamær, which means telephone operator, was probably changed to Símalína, meaning phone line, but it works better in song. I really couldn’t think of a good way to adapt this, so imagine the word Receiver (like a phone receiver) without the r at the end and it at least shares a vowel sound. I’d gladly take suggestions for a better adaptation.

*5 I could find no way to make this sentence flow properly as a single sentence in English. I’m still learning.

*6 See *5. Same story.

*7 I’m still not sure if I got this right, since it implied that the mayor already knew what Stína’s response would be, but that doesn’t make sense.

*8 The word used here can translate to teenager or youth, so I’m not sure if this was just a reference to all the young people in the town, including the children, who are referred to by a different word normally, if there’s some group of teenagers who we never meet, or if the children in this book are actually teenagers. I think it’s the first one.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

Chapter Three, in which the Translator's Pet character is introduced with all the bias that comes with it.



(Page 16):

3. Goggi the Neighbor*1

The mayor walked slowly in the direction of home and examined his colorless town. In Lazytown there was no life and fun. There were no kids playing. Not a single child was biking and he doubted that the kids in the town could do so. At least the bikes still stood by the houses. They’d not been moved in a long time. There was no one in all of Lazytown who bothered to bike or move around. *2

When he walked around the street the mayor saw the curtains in some houses were pulled aside and people peeked out. It was not often now that someone could be seen walking in this town. People knew that the mayor was probably the only one who walked around town. He thought that he should maybe hold a town meeting about the matter and try to get the townspeople to express themselves about what they thought about the sports festival and how it could be carried out. Thus he wondered about the things as he walked around the street.

The sun hadn’t smiled in the sky over this town in many months. In the end there was naturally nothing to smile over. Over the town low dark clouds and darkness loomed.*3 The mayor was amazed to see his neighbor Goggi*4 standing out on the balcony so he bid him a good evening. Goggi looked out in the air and below but he didn’t see anything. He was namely one of those who watched TV all through the day. If nothing was on the TV then he just watched videos*5 instead. He sat nearly motionless facing the TV and watched it from morning until evening. If it was to be replaced*6 then he slept in the chair and almost never left his TV chair.

Goggi had once bought himself glasses that had to be some sort of wonder glasses to see all the TV screens at once!*7 He always had them and whenever he took them off he didn’t see further than two meters ahead. That’s why he didn’t know who had greeted him.

The mayor walked into his own home. He got into his pajamas, brushed his teeth, washed himself and got in bed. When he closed his eyes he thought about what fun that it would be to wake up in this town if the sun shined and smiled in the sky. He dreamed about all the kids getting up early in the morning and going out to play and not coming in before noon to eat. That was the life that the poor mayor hoped to see. When he sank deeper and deeper into sleep then the picture of this entertaining town became increasingly clear.*8

Translator’s Notes:

*1 This chapter completely forgets to establish that Goggi is a child, just that he’s the mayor’s neighbor.

*2 I apologize for how redundant these statements are. They really are this redundant in the text.

*3 I also apologize for the redundancy of this sentence. I further apologize for the redundancy of this apology.

*4 Goggi is introduced without a nickname and is without one until either the first play’s soundtrack or the third book. It’s the only nickname that isn’t alliterative or a rhyme, probably because it was an afterthought. Goggi is actually a pretty odd character, not just in personality, but in lots of aspects of how he’s written. Now’s not the best time to explain what I mean by that, as some later context will help to prevent these notes from turning into mini-essays. Favorite character bias is very real.

*5 I’m going to point out some word choice that I found interesting. The word for videos used here is myndbönd, the purely Icelandic word for videos. Icelandic is a language resistant to loanwords, so speakers often create their own. When radios were invented, for example, most of the world called them some varient of radio, borrowing from English. Icelanders created the word útvarp for this. Myndband, the singular form of myndbönd, literally means “picture band”, referring to how videotape, containing pictures, is wrapped in a band inside the tape. However, though Icelandic is resistant to loanwords, loanwords still sometimes show up as slang. Whenever videos are referred to in the plays, always in some context related to Goggi, the word videó or something similar is used. Goggi tends to use English loanwords for some types of technology when the rest of the universe doesn’t.

*6 Here’s another line that I failed to create a coherent translation for.

*7 In the books, Goggi bought his TV glasses, while it was later implied that he invented them. Also, the book uses a vague concept of “all of the screens” which was later made into the more specific ten.

*8 This entire chapter is only one page long. I’m not even sure why it was made a separate chapter.

Hopefully, the Translator’s Notes for the next chapter will be short and normal, unlike these ones.

[StingX]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

How confident are you in these translations?

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

I'm doing this as practice, so I know it's inconsistent. I leave notes on the lines that I'm really not sure of.

[StingX]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

I'm doing this as practice, so I know it's inconsistent. I leave notes on the lines that I'm really not sure of.

The reason I ask is because I'd like to see a project where the books are more than just translated; they're recreated. Since all the illustrations are pen and pink, I presume that they could easily be vectorized well, and maybe using something similar to Publisher, the layout of the pages could be recreated with the same format and wrapping as they are originally, but of course with English text, and then exported as .pdf or even as .epub. The catch here is that it's of course important for the translation to be well done.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

I'll do my best. It'd be cool to recreate the books, even if they're not very good.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

I took a two day break from translating, but I'm back now with Chapter 5.



(Page 17):

4. Running Mayor!

The next day the mayor woke up with the rooster which was very unusual. The rooster*1 didn’t at all crow every morning. And in fact it was not the rooster himself who crowed. Everyone was so lazy in Lazytown that even the rooster couldn’t be bothered to crow except at the very best of times. He sat in his old sun lounger and slept there nearly all day. So he decided to rent a rooster from the next town to crow for him. He just paid the other rooster to come from the neighboring town to crow:

“Cocka-doodle-doo…Cocka-doodle-doo…”

This was of course expensive and finally the rooster could not afford it. Then he taped his crow and just pushed a button every time he had to crow. He still soon became sick of it and found another way. He connected a clock to the tape and had rooster-crowing sounds play every time that the clock rang.*2. Then he could continue to sleep in his sun lounger in peace. Life was like that in Lazytown. People didn’t even wake up with a real rooster!

The mayor stood up and thought about how he’d have to roll up his sleeves. Now he had to get the townspeople to hold a meeting. He couldn’t send a letter to every house because there was no mailman in Lazytown*3. Of course no one could be bothered to hand out the mail. What could the poor mayor do to get all the people together?

While he got dressed his mind wandered. When he opened the wardrobe to take his sweater out he saw his old sports uniform. This sports uniform had not been used in a long time. He then saw his old tracksuit, a jogging suit that he’d ran in before when he competed in tournaments. What would happen if he wore the suit and jogged around the town? People hadn’t seen that in numerous years. Perhaps it would awaken some sporting thoughts from them.



(Page 18):

The mayor dressed in the suit, fetched his old sports shoes, jumped out and started jogging around the streets of town. The people, who saw him, thought to themselves that he had to have gone crazy, running around all over the place.

The mayor didn’t let that get to him and just kept running fast. He ran between the gym and the church, down to the dock and between all the houses in Lazytown. The people went out to the street to whisper to each other about the mayor going batty. Others pulled back the curtains of their windows and watched him run, surprised.

Acting accordingly, he increased his speed. The people had never in some time seen someone run so fast. Then he called out loudly as he ran:

“There’s a town meeting! There’s a town meeting at three o’clock in the town square! There’s a town meeting!”

The poor mayor didn’t seem to be tired but he was exhausted, it’s true to say languished, when he came home to his place afterwards. Phew! He’d been running continuously for two hours.

The townspeople thought this was completely unbelievable. Such a thing hadn’t happened in numerous years. *4

“What meeting was the mayor talking about? Is there going to be a town meeting?” they said to each other.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 Fun Fact: Haninn literally means The Rooster, so Haninn actually has no name. This rooster acts like Haninn, but his name is never capitalized outside of the beginning of a sentence, so I translated it as “the rooster”, but feel free to imagine that it’s Haninn from GGiL, since this sounds like something he would do.

*2 Just stopping to wonder why the rooster even needs to crow if alarm clocks exist.

*3 Not yet, anyway…

*4 If I point out and apologize for every time the text is redundant, repeating things it told us in the same chapter, these notes would be long enough to fill a book by themselves.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

And now the story finally decides to go somewhere.



(Page 19):

5. The Town Meeting

The mayor decided to have the meeting in the town square because it was in the middle of town and there were enough parking spaces. He knew that all the townspeople would drive there.

There was no one walking to the meeting rather than driving. People didn’t even bother to get out of their cars but rather rolled down their car windows to be able to see.

Imagine all the exhaust fumes! Not one single citizen turned off their car but rather let their engines run during the meeting.

The poor mayor coughed and coughed when he tried to start the meeting and welcome everyone. He spoke as loud as he possibly could: *1

“Now I call this meeting to order.”

“The only thing on the agenda,” said the mayor “is the sports festival that is to be held all over the country. We here in this town, which goes by the name Lazytown, must take part in the festival being held.”

The people in the cars sighed:



(Page 20):

“Ohhhh…ohhhh…do we have to?”

“Ohhh…ohhhhhh, how can I go out to the shop*2 if I’m taking part in some sports festival?” asked the candy boy with a mouth full of candy.

Goggi, who watched videos all day, looked out and said:

“But then I’ll miss…Neighbors *3 Neighbors is always on the TV at five o’clock and this sports tournament goes all day.”

It must be said that the response hadn’t been good. All the townspeople had something against the sports festival. If it wasn’t one thing then it was another. It was too expensive to buy shoes, bikes, uniforms or other things related to sports.

“It’s way, way too expensive. This will cost the municipality*4 too much money,” said Nenni Penny-Pincher*5 in shock.

Some said that sports were very dangerous*6 and that everyone would be injured; that there were always people spraining themselves and tripping over stuff. The mayor listened to all of these excuses and simply didn’t know what he had to do. The townspeople appeared to have no interest in the festival. The cars drove away and the people returned to their homes. The poor mayor stood alone afterwards.

The town square was covered in trash because people didn’t respect themselves or the environment. Therefore cigarette butts and candy wrappers laid everywhere. The mayor gathered up this trash and he cried because the townspeople weren’t going to take part in the sports festival. He saw his little town fall into atrophy down to nothing but lazy people and motionlessness. What would he say to the president? He walked briskly and thought.

He didn’t know until he’d walked for several hours and was leaving the town.*7 He wasn’t happy. He sat on a hill and watched silently over his town where the sun hadn’t shined for a long time.

“What exactly do I try?” he thought.

All at once he heard something so he listened. He heard someone counting.

“One thousand and one, one thousand and two, one thousand and three.”

The mayor was shocked! Where did that come from? He checked back over the hill and didn’t see anything.

The voice continued:

“One thousand and five.”*8

He peaked nervously behind a stone and heard:

“One thousand and six.”

It was as if the voice came out of the hill.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 These fragments could’ve been a single paragraph, but this was how they appeared on the page.

*2 In the play, Siggi just wanted to eat candy all day, but here it seems like he’s not too lazy to go out to the candy store, though I’m pretty sure he’s supposed to be here, so I don’t get it. I’m confident in my translation here. It definitely referenced going shopping instead of eating candy, so I have no idea what’s going on here.

*3 Apparently Goggi’s a fan of Australian soap operas.

*4 This word could also be translated as community, but the idea of a young child just randomly using the word municipality was too amusing to pass up.

*5 Níski, Nenni’s nickname, can literally translate to stingy. But, keeping with the theme of rhyme/alliteration, I went with Penny-Pincher.

*6 This word can also be translated as deadly, but just very dangerous made more sense.

*7 This sentence refused to take coherent form. I’m guessing it meant that he wandered aimlessly, not knowing where he intended to go.

*8 What happened to one thousand and four?

- - - Updated - - -

The post literally translated the word s t i n g y into a picture of Stingy. ...I'm keeping it.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

This chapter frustrates me.



(Page 21):

6. The Sports Elf

The mayor walked around the hill and saw that there was a crack in it. He couldn’t refrain from asking:

“Who are you?”

“I’m the sports elf*1.”

“Huh, are you a sports elf?” asked the mayor surprised. He’d never seen a sports elf before.*2

“Yes, I’m a sports elf and I live in this hill. I’m completing my evening exercises.”

“What are you saying?” said the mayor. “You do one thousand and something push-ups every evening?”*3

“Yes, yes, this is just to keep me young,” said the sports elf.

“How come you live in this hill?” asked the mayor.

“Right, it just so happens that I’m the coach of a national team of sports elves.*4 I live in this hill and in the hills around it reside other elves. I travel between hills and train them all in gymnastics. I naturally need to keep myself in good shape so I can teach them something new every day. Here I have own gymnasium,” said the elf proudly, “But what are you doing here, mayor, so sad-looking?” *5 asked the elf.

“Right, you see…” and then the mayor told the elf the whole story about what was happening in Lazytown.

“We elves have actually observed this town for a long time and have of course noticed that the townspeople have become lazier and lazier with every year.”

The mayor said sadly:

“Yes, this is the ugly situation that the town as come to. But how’s the situation for you elves? Nearly that bad?”

“No, no, “ said the sports elf. “In the elf settlement everyone is very fit. Everyone exercises regularly, wakes up and goes to bed early and thinks well about health and learning.”

“Uh…couldn’t you help me?”*6 the mayor asked carefully.

“You never know,” said the elf.

“Couldn’t you train the townspeople for me so that they’d become interested in moving around?”

“You never know,” the sports elf said again. “I shall go and look at the town and see what I can do.”



(Page 22):

The mayor thanked him sincerely and asked how he could repay him.*7

“The payments, which I want to get, are smiles and friendly attitudes,” the elf said while doing stretches.

“That’s not much,” thought the mayor. “But that could become a challenge to get smiles from all the townspeople.”

They almost never smiled, let alone had friendly attitudes. It could maybe be more difficult than expected to repay the elf’s favor.

But the elf decided to go first thing in the morning to observe the situation in Lazytown.

Translator’s Notes:

I apologize in advance for having a lot of things to vent about, but I’ll try not to rant.

*1 I’m surprised that “the sports elf” wasn’t capitalized, since it’s a title of sorts.

*2 Wait. Is he A sports elf or THE sports elf. I’m already confused. I know this isn’t a translation failure, because I know how the definite article works, so this is just confusing on its own.

*3 Okay, this entire introduction is a mess. The mayor looks around but it never says that he sees anyone. He asks “Who are you?” to no one and no one responds, because the narration forgot to say that he saw someone and spoke to them. Then it makes it confusing as to whether this as a sports elf or The Sports Elf like a title. This is the introduction of the main character, and it’s borderline incoherent.

*4 Okay, so he’s THE sports elf, as in one, who trains a group of sports elves. This raises more questions than it answers.

*5 Uh…The mayor never said who he was. Does the sports elf know via magic? Are we supposed to just assume that? Are we supposed to not think that’s creepy?

*6 Okay, I said I’d try not to rant, but: This makes no sense. The mayor is asking the elf to solve a problem that he’s completely unfamiliar with. The sports elf trains elves, for whom laziness is not a problem. They’re all perfect. Fine. They’re magic, so they can be perfect. But, how does the sports elf know how to address laziness when he’s never done more than observe it before? He’s never had to convince someone to not be lazy, if he’s only trained elves and elves are never lazy. This is like asking someone who lives somewhere without consistent internet access or even electricity, only having heard of those things and seen them a few times maybe, to fix your computer, because they’ve never had computer problems before, when the only reason they’ve never had computer problems before, is because they’ve never used a computer.

*7 So, the mayor makes a deal with a supernatural being? Weird.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

The following chapter may or may not contain commentary from the translator that may or may not annoy some audience members.



(Page 23):

The chapters get a lot longer from this point onward. Because of this, from now on, Translator’s Notes will be at the end of each page so you won’t have to scroll a mile down to read the notes on the first few pages and then up again and down again etc.

7. The Candy Boy*1

Monday came. The elf set off running. He was in sports apparel like a sports elf should be that had a number 10 on the back because it was his lucky number.*2 He also had shoes that were makeshift running shoes. He could run so fast in them that people didn’t see him when he bounced around in them. Don’t forget the notebook that he always had with him.*3 In it he wrote recommendations to those who wanted to improve their lives and succeed in sports.*4

When the elf came running into the town in a hurry he stood in front of a house that was covered in garbage. Outside the house was a spray of candy wrappers, used cans and bottles. This had all been discarded out and around the window so that the garden was full of garbage.

You all know, of course who lived there! Siggi Sweet lived in this house, Siggi the candy boy.*5 The elf waded through all the garbage and peeked through the window. There sat Siggi Sweet up in his room with almost five kilos*6 of candy and was devouring it as well as potato chips and soda.

When Siggi was seven years old*7 he received a Superman costume - which some call a Superman costume*8. Back then he ran around in it*9. But after that he got to eating this abundance of candy and stopped being able to run. He nearly stopped being able to move around. He just sat up in his room and devoured candy and so in the end he couldn’t move around.

And then there was still his favorite costume which no longer fit him. It was true to say that it’d become too small for the candy boy and he was actually springing out of it. The cape which had reached down to his ankles, hung like a washcloth on his back! Yes, it wasn’t a pretty sight to see the candy boy in the Superman costume who devoured candy up there in his room which was covered in caramel wrappers

Translator’s Notes:

*1 The chapters get a lot longer from this point onward. Because of this, from now on, Translator’s Notes will be at the end of each page so you won’t have to scroll a mile down to read the notes on the first few pages and then up again and down again etc.

*2 The original origin story of the number 10 was kind of lame. It’s just his lucky number.

*3 I’m not sure if the narrator was actually telling the audience not to forget the notebook that’d never been established.

*4 Or to whoever he thinks should want to improve their lives and succeed in sports, which is everyone in sight.

*5 Siggi has two nicknames for some reason, with candy boy being some other sort of character description. I don’t get it.

*6 For my fellow Americans, that’s around eleven pounds of candy.

*7 This implies that Siggi is several years older than seven, not matching every later portrayal of him, where he was seven at the oldest.

*8 Yeah, this one needs an explanation. The first Superman is the word Ofurmann, which is purely Icelandic, while the second is Súpermann, using the English loanword.

*9 Wait. Siggi wasn’t lazy only a few years prior. Has Lazytown only been lazy for at the most three years? The lore of this children's book confuses me.



(Page 24):

The elf burst into the house and came in Siggi Sweet’s room before he could blink.*1

“Good day.” said the sports elf.

Siggi Sweet looked at the elf and said in shock:

“Who are you?”

“I’m a sports elf.” answered the elf.

“A sports elf, huh…I have nothing to say to you now.” said Siggi Sweet. He continued eating.

The the sports elf said:

“No, you actually have a variety of things to say to me. You can also ask me all that you would like to know. I know all about how you have to stop eating candy so that you can go and move around.”*2

“I don’t want to stop eating candy,” said Siggi Sweet. “I don’t want to move around and I don’t at all want to take part in any sports festival. I just want to eat my candy.”

Translator’s Notes:

*1 I wonder how no one else heard him loudly break in.

*2 Because candy is well-known to cause paralysis…Yeah, the play’s dialogue modified this a little, from “stop eating candy” to “stop eating so much candy” for a reason.



(Page 25):

The sports elf saw that Siggi Sweet’s teeth were all damaged. Caramel stuck to all the teeth.

Siggi Sweet could barely sit up in his room. The sports elf asked him if he’d never thought about why he ate so much candy.*1 Siggi Sweet said he didn’t remember when he started on that but gradually he’d got to eating more and more.

“So it’s a matter of interest,” said the sports elf “that it’s much healthier to eat fruits and vegetables than candy, for example carrots, apples or oranges instead of all this sugar.”

The sports elf then asked whether Siggi had at some time attended a birthday party.*2 Yes, Siggi Sweet said he’d gone to a few of them. The sports elf then jumped across the room to him and said:

“I’m going to tell you a parable. When kids go to birthday parties they show up very nice and sweet.*3 The come at three o’clock and give the birthday boy or girl*4 gifts. Then they settle down and are still and good.*5 Next the birthday boy or girl offers them goodies and all the sweet and polite birthday guests eat cake and drink chocolate.*6 At around four PM everyone becomes crazy at the party. The kids run around all over the room. The parents don’t do anything.*7 The kids scream and even pull each other’s hair.”

Siggi Sweet didn’t get*8 any of this.

“Why are you telling me about this?”

“Have you been like that at a birthday party?” asked the elf.

“Yes.” he answered*9

“Why must the kids all of a sudden become crazy and naughty after having been calm all day?”*10

“Oh, I don’t know.” answered Siggi Sweet surprised.

“It’s because the kids have had so much sugar in their bodies. They *11 receive all of that sugar, that cake and that cocoa. It stirs kids up and because of that they must be careful to not eat a lot of sugar at one time.*12”

Siggi Sweet looked at the elf, took out a caramel*13 and said:

“What do you mean by that?”

“Right, look. Imagine that the sugar in the body must not go up above the shoulders and not below the knee. When kids eat a lot of candy, caramel and chocolate for example, and drink a lot of soda then the sugar suddenly goes up above the shoulders and the kids go completely crazy.

Translator’s Notes (AKA complaining):

*1 This could’ve been more dialogue, but it wasn’t, for some reason.

*2 It happens again, and it’ll probably happen more, so I’ll shut up about it.

*3 As a child, I neither had nor attended a birthday party where everyone was calm when they arrived. Is this a cultural thing?

*4 The compound word used here translates to the gender-neutral birthday child, but I’ve never heard that be phrased that way in English. Apologies to all non-binary children.

*5 When I read this book, I can’t help but wonder if Magnús had ever encountered real children before writing it.

*6 I’m guessing this means either chocolate milk or hot chocolate.

*7 Why not?

*8 The word used to mean understand here is not the one I usually see, so instead of just saying understand, I did something else to match.

*9 Siggi shamelessly admits to going crazy at parties. This shamelessness is almost a personality trait.

*10 …Because it’s a party?

*11 The pronoun used here is actually he, but a more general they seemed like a better fit, since the children at the party are multiple people.

*12 How much is too much though? This isn’t an issue with this book. Everyone who wants kids to eat less junk food is really vague about how much is too much.

*13 Looks right at him while doing exactly what he’s being asked not to do. When he has any personality, I like this version of Siggi.



(Page 26): (quote continues on next page)

The sugar goes up to their heads and they go bonkers. What happens next at the birthday party?” the elf continued.

“I don’t know.” answered Siggi Sweet astounded.*1

“Well, the kids get cranky*2 and tired and some start to cry: ‘Oh, I want to go home.’*3 Some kick the other kids and get bored. This is because the sugar, which the kids devoured, has fallen down below the knee. When it comes down below the knee then the kids get cranky and irritated and go screaming to their moms and dads. That’s what happens. Therefore we must make sure that the sugar goes neither up above the shoulders nor down below the knee.*4 Did you get all that?” asked the elf.

“How do I do that?” asked Siggi Sweet interested. He himself was often irritable and morose and sometimes he couldn’t sleep at night. He was also often upset. Then he was always screaming and yelling at everyone.*5 He definitely wanted to know how he could prevent the sugar from going up over his shoulders and below his knees.

“It’s best to eat a little candy at a time and of course is by far the best for the teeth to have one specific candy day, Saturday for example.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 Why?

*2 I just want to point out that the first translation I found for this was pissed. I decided that it wasn’t the sort of language a sports elf would use.

*3 Little kids don’t get tired from the excitement of parties. It’s the demon sugar that does it.

*4 Okay, by the logic of this analogy, if your sugar level gets too low, shouldn’t you just eat more sugar? If you somehow avoid eating too much, this would actually make eating candy a good thing.

*5 Okay, I’m genuinely curious. Does too much sugar really do all that? That doesn’t sound like a normal cycle of sugar highs and sugar crashes. It sounds more like an undiagnosed mood disorder.




Quote continues on (Page 27):

Then all the sugar is gathered together but you mustn’t eat a lot at once. Remember that, only a little at a time! Too much candy is unhealthy for the body.*1”

He felt Siggi Sweet’s muscles but they were almost nonexistent. They were just floppy like French bread. Yes, they were French bread muscles. Kids!*2 Now you have clasp your muscles and check if they’re like rye bread or French bread muscles!

The poor boy looked at the candy wrappers around him and said:

“But I like to eat candy so much that I can’t stop.”

“If you eat a lot of candy,” said the elf, “then I have some advice to reduce it.”

The sports elf jumped up, spun a full circle in the air and then landed down on top of all the caramel wrappers. He pulled the notebook up out of his back pocket.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 There’s the tldr of this entire chapter.

*2 Yes, the narrator’s speaking to the audience here.



(Page 28):

“In this notebook I’ll write some advice for you which you can keep in mind.”

He wrote in the notebook:

1. Try to reduce candy eating bit by bit. Decrease candy doses*1 gradually.
2. Try to eat for example popcorn instead of potato chips.*2
3. Try to cut up fruit and snack on that when you watch TV instead of eating candy. Grapes instead of chocolate, for example.
4. Then try to move this all to one day because it’s better for the teeth.
5. Then it’s good to be active!

“Be active, good gracious*3!” said Siggi Sweet, appearing to be very surprised.

He hadn’t been active in many years.

“I can barely move now. I’ve become so fat.” he said, downcast.

He couldn’t even see the pants of his Superman costume because his belly bulged over them!

“Now, now, of course you can move around. You can be active like everyone else. It just takes a little time to get started. Of course you’ll get tired at first and won’t be able to go for a long time but gradually your stamina will increase and you’ll be able to go for longer and have fun with it.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 Yes, the word really translates to doses, like a dose of medicine. Candy is a drug in Lazytown.

*2 Potato chips aren’t candy…Yeah, I know what he meant, but still.

*3 The phrase here translates literally to good stop or good risk, and I thought good gracious would be the closest equivalent.



Quote continues of (Page 29):

Just start by walking slowly and calmly, around your house for example, maybe do one or two push-ups every evening and multiply them up to ten over time. You can also exercise your abdominal muscles to strengthen them. It’s enough to start with just one or two exercises but increase them bit by bit.

By all means do this regularly, maybe once or twice a day. You can start in the morning or right away in the evening. As soon as you start being active you’re going to long for healthy food.

Then you go on short walks. You can start on that by picking up all the trash that’s around your house. When you’re done with that you could go on a little further, for example up the hill there that I live on and watch over the town. Gradually you can pick up speed until you’re jogging and even run. When you’ve started running then you could try cycling. With time you could start to do many other things. You could play basketball, football and handball*1. You could swim, run and do everything possible that comes to mind- Instead of sitting here inside and devouring your candy.”

Siggi the candy boy looked out of his window and saw all the playground equipment outside waiting to be used.

“I’ll try to do that.” he said.

The sports elf gave him the memo to hang up on the wall of his room and said he would visit him in a few days to see how he was doing. He jumped out and rushed so fast through the garden that the candy wrappers flew in all directions. Siggi Sweet watched him from the window with admiration. He had a job to do and was thinking about starting first thing in the morning.

Translator’s Notes:

*1 Handball is second only to football in popularity in Iceland, but I wouldn’t have heard of it if it wasn’t an Olympic sport. I don’t know if that’s because it’s not really a think in America, or if I’m just an idiot when it comes to sports. It wouldn’t surprise me.

I know this took forever to get posted, but the chapters are getting longer and it’s becoming harder to get through them. Sorry about that.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

Okay, empires have probably risen and fallen since I last updated this, but this chapter was long enough to send me into an intense fit of procrastination. Once I'd recovered, I rushed this out, so sick of the chapter that I don't really give a shit if there are typos in the notes sections.




Chapter 8: Games Instead of Television

The Sports Elf rushed between the houses. All of a sudden, he stopped in front of a house and said to himself:

“What’s that now?”

On this house there were so many TV antennas*1 that it was barely possible to count them. The Sports Elf counted in his head:

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…”

There were neither more nor less than 17 antennas.*2 Just who would have 17 antennas on their house?! Antennas are specifically used to get more TV channels.*3 The Sports Elf peeked through the window and saw that there was no one home other than Goggi with his TV glasses.

Goggi sat in his comfortable TV chair, almost completely focused on one TV screen but there were TV sets all over the living room*4. He had nine sets and they were all in the one room! Sometimes they were all going at the same time. He had a video game on one*5, a video on another, state televison*6 and Channel Two on the third*6 and I don’t what else.*7 He was almost playing every broadcast that it was possible to play.

Notes:

*1 The plural of antenna is officially antennae, but apparently when referring to the antennas of electronic devices, the plural can be antennas, which I’ve using because it’s easier to remember.

*2 Nearly impossible to count = 17, apparently. Well, this book is for kids.

*3 How many TV channels would 17 antennas get in 1995? I wasn’t born yet, so if anyone knows, please tell me. I want to know exactly how absurd this was supposed to be.

*4 I assumed while watching the play that Goggi kept all of his TVs in his room, but apparently they’re all in the middle of the living room, causing a constant racket. Either his parents are really easy-going or they don’t exist.

*5 He just has a video game playing on a television without playing it? Did Magnús not know how video games worked on even the most basic level?

*6 That’s like the Icelandic BBC, basically.

*7 How is one television on two channels at once. Did Magnús not know how TVs work on even the most basic level?



And now he sat there in his chair and watched one TV.

The Sports Elf thought:

“It can be healthy to watch TV occasionally but it can also me unhealthy to watch for too long and too often.*1”

He said to himself:

“I have work to do here.”

In an instant, the sports elf came in and stood directly in front of Goggi who looked at him and shouted:

“What are you doing here? I can’t see the TV screen! Move! I need to see! Move!*2”

The Sports Elf told him:

“No, I’m going to turn it off now!”

And he turned off all the devices.

Goggi was not happy about this and asked:

“Why are you turning all my TVs off?”

The elf answered:

“Don’t you know that the brain ceases to function independently when you watch TV all day?”

Goggi understood neither this speech nor who on Earth this was.*3

“Who are you, exactly?” he asked, “Where do you come from?”

“I live here right outside of town in a big elf settlement and I’ve come from there to watch over the town.” said the sports elf. “I believe you need a bit of help from me. I can give you some good advice. Television is thusly,” he continued, “It feeds people information. Because of that they willingly forget themselves with computer games or movies for hours. People let themselves be fed and have almost no need to think for themselves. People don’t need to create games themselves and move around at all but just sit very still and stare ahead. It’s consistently been proven that creativity decreases if someone watches too much TV.*4”

Goggi leaned back in the chair and recalled that once he’d wanted to be an artist. He wanted to be a painter, write stories, and draw. But when he got to watching so much TV, then his imagination was reduced so much that he could no longer draw or play by himself. He always needed to have something on a screen to tell him what to draw or what he should usually do. That’s what happens when you watch too much TV.

The Sports Elf asked:

“Don’t you want to do something other than watch TV all day? Don’t you want to learn some games, to go out and play?”

“I don’t know,” said Goggi. “I don’t know any games.”

Notes:

*1 I don’t know why it was necessary to state the moral of the chapter that will be repeated multiple times right at the beginning through a character just thinking it, but that’s pretty typically for this book.

*2 Goggi’s reaction here as well as how The Sports Elf introduces himself are both very different from the staged version. There’s no possession of television screens. The Sports Elf gets right to the point. Also, the nervousness and stuttering that Goggi has in the play is pretty much exclusive to that one play. Goggi is just as annoyed as anyone would be if someone stood in front of a TV they were watching.

*3 It’s odd how the book seems to imply whenever a child has no idea what’s going on when The Sports Elf appears, that they somehow should know. Maybe it’s not even doing that and I’m just interpreting it oddly.

*4 No source was sited for this claim. Elves know all.

Most of those notes were admittedly pointless.



“That’s because people become continually lazier and lazier if they watch a lot of TV. I don’t believe that you are really so lazy that you hang around the television and computer games all day.”

“Yeah, “said Goggi ashamed. *1

He knew well that he spent all his time watching TV and playing computer games. He didn’t even bother to wash himself. He was becoming very dirty.

The Sports Elf spoke:

“Have you heard the story of Lazy Geir?”

Note:

*1 This is the last time I will complain about shaming tactics, since the next chapter will be far worse and this is supposed to be a translation, not a review.



“No.”, answered Goggi.

“Lazy Geir by the riverside*1- Lay there til he died.
He didn’t want to taste the water- Though he was thirsty.*2”

“What does that mean?” asked Goggi.

“Lazy Geir, who laid by the river, was thirsty but he was so lazy that he couldn’t be bothered to get a drink so he died of thirst. That’s how it goes for they who can’t be bothered to do anything. But I know, Goggi, my boy*3, that you want to turn off all the devices and go and take action.”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what to do,” said Goggi lamenting. “There is so much I want to watch on TV.”

The elf continued:

“It’s okay to watch something that one enjoys. It’s fine. It’s for example very fun to watch cartoons and sometimes the news or sporting events because you learn something from that.*4 But you must also do sometime yourself, for example learning some games. Do you know the game Falling Stick?*5”

“No.” said Goggi.

“I shall teach you some games. I shall teach you five entertaining games that you can play with the kids in the neighborhood. You could invite them all to come and play these games. Watch now.*6”

Notes:

*1 The word used here “lækjarbakka” means beside a brook or stream, but I picked riverside as a compound word to match.

*2 The translation of this little rhyme used in the subtitled version of the play actually makes a bit more sense. The phrasing here is really odd, no matter what I do to it.

*3 What he says here is “Goggi minn” literally meaning “my Goggi”. This is all over the place in every Icelandic thing I’ve seen. The use of minn or mín, depending on gender, added as a term of endearment is very common. It’s most often used with adults speaking to children or with lovers, but I’ve also heard friends use it.

*4 I don’t watch sports, so I’m not sure how educational they actually are. Are sporting events educational?

*5 The game kept translating to Fallen Spit but Falling Stick made a lot more sense. It’s a more complicated version of hide and seek. Since the game will be explained in this chapter anyway, I’m not going to explain any more.

*6 The remainder of this chapter is just instructions for various games. However, I don’t recognize most of these games, so some of them might be specifically Icelandic or at least not native to the English-speaking world. That’s the only reason why I’m not skipping this segment all-together.



Hopscotch*1

Hopscotch is a hopping game that includes hopping on one foot or the other*2, not stepping on a line and keeping your balance. First you start by drawing with chalk on a flat surface, outside or inside, the head, neck, hands and three other boxes as seen in the picture. Each box must be big enough that it is comfortable to step in. Then you find a flat thing, a stone for example.

The game begins by throwing the thing in the front box. If the one playing hits the correct box they*3 must hop starting on one foot or the other in all the boxes. If all goes as planned the player tries to hit the box above it and so on and so forth.

When the player has hit all the boxes once, they must select a box. They do this by turning their back to the field and tossing the stone behind them. If the stone lands in a box that no one has, they get that box. After that, other players may not toss or hop on it.

Notes:

*1 The Icelandic name for this game París, literally means Paris, as in the city, explaining Goggi’s confusion in the play, but the English version is called hopscotch, so I’m going with that.

*2 The phrase used here is “á öðrum fæti” or on other foot, meaning on alternating feet, but that doesn’t translate very efficiently into English.

*3 Any place were I’m using a singular they was originally he. Something, something, political correctness…



Borders Paris*1

The next game is a running game and is called Borders Paris. Four to six people can participate. It’s a very entertaining game. People need to be fast to notice and react to things quickly.*1

A big circle is drawn on the ground and a little circle in the middle of it (See picture). The circle is divided into equal parts by the number of participants. Each gets one part that they name after a country, for example, Iceland, Norway, Spain, and Hungary of whatever country they think of.

Say that A is Iceland and B is Norway. A starts. The game goes that A attacks B or another country by throwing a small stick at the country and says:

“I attack B.” -or: “I attack Norway.”

As soon as he does this he runs off but he has to stop when Player B*2 picks the stick up and says: “Halt.”

Player B (Norway) must next take three steps in the direction of A and try to throw the stick in the circle (basket) that A forms by hand.*3 If B succeeds he may take A’s land. If he fails A may take B’s land. Then B gets the next attack.

When taking land one foot must be in the little circle and the other one’s own land. Then you need to stretch and use the stick to take a portion of land by dragging a line. You may not lift the stick from the ground while drawing the new border. You’re out of the game when you lose all of your land.

That’s how I learned the game.*4 The only thing left to talk about is attacking a country. We can also name provinces in Iceland and play as settlers competing take the first land for ourselves.*5 Then, everyone protects the first region they decide on at the beginning.

Notes:

*1 Once again, Paris shows up in the title and once again, I don’t know why.

*2 The word used here is “eigandi” meaning owner, the owner of a land in the game, but I went with “player” for clarity.

*3 That means a player forms a circle with their hands as a goal. This game features a lot of circles.

*4 I don’t know if this is the Sports Elf talking or Magnús breaking the fourth wall.

*5 This could conveniently work just as well with US states.



The Prince Game

Participants divide themselves into two teams. A line is drawn on the ground and the teams spread out on either side of it. Then two princes are selected, one for each team, and they go back to the opponent’s team. (See illustration)

The game involves hitting the opponent with a ball.*1 Those who get hit with the ball join the other team. The ball always goes between the teams. A team wins when they hit all of the opponents. Care must be taken to use a soft ball, not target the head and not shoot fast. This game is about agility, resourcefulness and endurance.*2

Notes:

*1 So it’s dodgeball but slightly more complicated.

*2 It never says what the role of the prince is. This could literally just be a form of dodgeball with slightly modified rules.



Name Riddle

This is a very entertaining game that often goes by the name Holly Hoo*1. All participants except one arrange themselves side by side. The other one has the ball and thinks of a person’s name. They then throw the ball to the first person in the row and says the first letter of the name and its gender. (If the name were Anna then they’d say A, female. If it were Ari then they’d say A, male.) The first person in the row then tries to name this name. The ball goes across the row if everyone guesses the wrong name. A new letter is added with each round. (Example: If it were Anna, they throw the ball again and say An, female.)

When the right name is named the ball is thrown to the ground and they said: “Holly!” and run away. The correct guesser*2, B, grabs the ball and says “Hoo”. But then A stops and makes a basket with their hands. B takes three steps*3 and tries to hit the basket. If they hit it they must choose the next name. Otherwise A chooses again. You may also use other sorts of names*4, such as country or animal names*5

Notes:

*1 The nonsense word Hollíhú is used here and I just respelled in a way that makes the pronunciation more clear to English speakers.

*2 The word used here, getspaki, wouldn’t translate so I guessed its meaning from context and similar words.

*3 Whether those three steps are forward or back is not specified.

*4 This bit more literally translated to other than people’s names, but I phrased it in a way that sounded better.

*5 Similar to the above it was more literally “country names or animal names”, but it flowed better in English without the repetition



Fallen Stick*1

is*2 a hide and seek game.*3 You start by setting a stick up against a wall or lamp post.*4 One of the group is selected to “be it”*5. The others hide. The one who “is it” counts up to a predetermined number, 50, for example. When they’re done counting they search for the others. While they search one*6 of the others tries to get to the stick, run there, push it aside and say:

“The stick falls for me, one two and three.”*7

If the seeker*8 sees someone, Jón for example, then they go to the stick and say: “The stick falls for Jón, one two and three.”*9

Then Jón is out of the game and needs to rest there until all the others are found.

The main goal is to be first to reach the stick.

Surprisingly Large Amount of Notes:

*1 We’re finally back to that.

*2 Though Fallin spýta is written as a title, the er of the follow paragraph is lower case, making the title the start of a sentence.

*3 Feluleikur means Camouflage Game, but Google Translate adapted it to Hide and Seek and it’s obviously a variant on hide and seek, and thus it is written here as hide and seek.

*4 Ljósastaur literally means light post, but it’s obvious what that meant.

*5 The word for “it” used is “hann” meaning he/him, but, once again, it’s obvious that that was meant to be “it” as masculine nouns that are inanimate objects are called hann to mean “it”.

*6 One of the others is a translation of eiga hinir, though eiga means own, not one. The eiga here might be a typo for einn or something similar, or it might be a quirk of Icelandic that I don’t know about.

*7 I like how this happens to rhyme in English. It doesn’t quite rhyme in Icelandic though.

*8 The phrase used here is “the one searching” but “the one searching” who usually be referred to as the seeker in English.

*9 It can’t rhyme all the time…



“Here you have these five games. I’ve written them in my notebook. Take this page from it and you can always look at it to review the games.”

Goggi to take this for consideration. The sports elf he’d come back after two days to see how he was doing at learning the games. He said goodbye, jumped out*1 and in an instant he was headed down the street.

(The picture shows labelled drawings of various games under the title Outdoor Games.)

The elf described Fallen Stick and the four others. Many know Over Under*2 and dodgeball (ball game) - to skip rope and play basketball. Your parents and grandparents definitely know other games that they can teach you.

Notes:

*1 Sportacus backflips away…

*2 This game is just called Over and I actually don’t know it, but I know the subtitled play translated it as Over Under, so I’m going with that.

Never ask me to translate an instruction manual.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

WARNING: This might be my least favorite chapter in the whole trilogy. I’ve already gotten frustrated in Author’s Notes way too many times and the next three chapters should be much better. If you really hate the notes where I’m just complaining, skip this one. It’s Maggi Mjói’s scene from the play but with a longer lecture.




Chapter 9: What Is Healthy Food?

When the sports elf came down the street he did two somersaults, jumped up in the air and stood on his hands. He could basically walk on his hands the same as his feet. He walked on his hands up the road and stood outside Maggi Scraggy’s house.

He heard Maggi’s mother talking to him.*1

“Maggi dear*2, try to eat fish so that you’ll become big and strong.”

“I won’t eat fish! I don’t like fish.” said Maggi Scraggy.

“Eat meat then.”

“I don’t like meat.*3”

“Why don’t you take fish oil?*4

“Ew, fish oil.”, said Maggi Scraggy, frowning.

Notes:

*1: I’m going to assume that elves just have really good hearing, as this doesn’t play out like a loud argument.

*2: This is another case of minn, like with Goggi in the last chapter, but I’m using different translations in different contexts.

*3: The possibility of vegetarianism is never discussed in this chapter, though it might be a good idea here.

*4 Lýsi, or fish oil is commonly taken as a vitamin D supplement in Iceland. The most common source of vitamin D that people are regularly exposed to comes not from food, but from sunlight. In most of the world, vitamin D deficiency can be prevented by just going outside regularly, but in and near the tundra, where Iceland is, there are long parts of the year with very little sunlight. The sun rises late and sets early. This means that going outside regularly still doesn’t provide enough vitamin D, so supplements are taken. So, this Icelandic story puts a lot of emphasis on taking a medicine that most of the world rarely if ever thinks about. Don’t forget your daily dose of daylight, kids!



Some kids are like this. Are you like this sometimes? *1

Maggi Scraggy went out.*2 He was so thin that he couldn’t hold his socks up at all. Or his clothes! They hung off of him. His skin was completely snow white.*3 He was so pale that it was like there was no blood in him. He walked out into the garden, saw the sports elf standing on his hands and said:

“Who are you? Do you have two heads?”

He was suffering from malnutrition.*4 He sat down in the grass. The Sports Elf became terrified because he thought Maggi’s legs had broken when he sat down because he was just so thin.*5 He walked up to him and spoke:

“No, I’m just exercising and walking on my hands. You should try that too. Then you might get a little blood up to your head. Aren’t you Maggi Scraggy?*6”

“Yeah” answered Maggi.

Notes:

*1 …Shut up.

*2 I thought the children never went out to play. What does Maggi even intend to do outside, seeing that he’s too weak to do anything?

*3 The word for pale here literally translated to snow white.

*4 Why did his mother never think to take him to a doctor? Is the book implying that parents in Lazytown are too lazy to get their kids necessary medical attention? Is it implying that doctors are too lazy to do their jobs? This suddenly got really dark…

*5 Disturbing imagery, brought to you by a future preschool show!

*6 I’ll just assume that the Mayor told the elf everyone’s names and issues.



(I like Maggi's character design here, except for the fact that I how no idea why his lips are so big.)



“Well, Maggi, my boy,” said the elf, “I’m a sports elf and I live here just outside of town.*1 I’ve been watching the townspeople for many years. With time they’ve either gotten lazier and lazier or more and more disobedient.*2”

“I’m never disobedient.” said Maggi.

“But you never eat your food.” said the elf.

“No, I just find food, especially fish, to be no good.*3”

“What do you like?”

“I don’t like anything.” said Maggi.

“Do you never eat any healthy food?”

The elf knew*4 that Maggi only ate cocoballs.*5

“What is healthy food?” Maggi asked and laid down in the grass. He couldn’t sit upright because of dizziness.

He continued:

“I eat cheerios*6 sometimes. Yeah, I always eat cocopuffs*7 and cheerios*8.”

“But it’s not at all enough,”*9 said the sports elf, “to eat only those foods*10 everyday.”

“Yeah, but it’s so good.” said Maggi dreamily and he rolled himself over onto his stomach. “I always eat that at lunch and in the evening.*11”

Then the elf said:

“See here now, Maggi; you must eat healthy food. A healthy diet needs to be diverse. Most kids know*12 that it’s not at all enough to have only oat rings though*13 it’s okay to eat that sometimes.”

It was therefore no wonder that Maggi couldn’t sit upright. The elf shrugged at him and lifted him up. He needed to support him so that he wouldn’t fall back down into the grass. The elf did a somersault backwards*14 and grabbed his notebook from his pocket.

“You need to have diverse nourishment so you can move around; to actually be able to live.”

“Yeah,” said Maggi, “But I only like cocopuffs.”*15

“It’s okay to eat cocoballs sometimes but you also need other food. You need vegetables and must eat fish*16, drink water and take fish oil.”

The elf continued to write in his notebook:

“We’ll imagine that we’re going to give food, which we eat*17, a grade for how healthy it is. Say that the grade is from 1 to 10. 10 is best and 1 is worst. Here’s a little rule of thumb that I’ll let you have in this memo. You can then see whether food is healthy or unhealthy. The more that the food is processed, the more unhealthy it becomes.”

Lots of Words, Lots of Notes:

*1 Right by the town is a more literal translation, but this sounds better.

*2 The word here means naughty or unruly, but disobedient sounds better.

*3 The Icelandic words for I Like or I Don’t Like are literally I think/ don’t think X is good. I usually changed that to like/don’t like, but the pacing of this line required a different translation.

*4 If he already knew the answer, why’d he bother asking?

*5 Kakókúlur literally means “cocoballs” and is used here because cocopuffs is a brand name.

*6 Serjós is just the Icelandic pronunciation of Cheerios.

*7 Kókópöffs is obviously cocopuffs. There’s a pattern here. The elf uses generic names for cereals while Maggi uses the brand names. This difference in vocabulary is one of the few bits of characterization in dialogue that the book has. Elves don’t much care for the human concept of brand names, I suppose. The play removed all the brand names, most likely for copyright reasons.

*8 Maggi eats either sweet junk foods or bland foods. Fish, his least favorite, by contrast, often has a very strong flavor. He prefers bland foods and doesn’t like stronger ones. Maybe his picky eating comes from sensitivity instead of just stubbornness. This sort of situation is not something this book is capable of taking into account.

*9 The division of this line is really weird, considering that this is a single sentence without any reason to include a comma. There was no reason to break this sentence up.

*10 Fæðu, a different word for food than the usually matur is used here and I don’t know why.

*11 But not at breakfast, despite it being cereal. Maybe that just went without saying.

*12 INCOMING TANGENT: This is a “Normal People Know Better” argument. These arguments are bad. They don’t work and they make kids feel singled out. Yeah, I’m not an expert, and yeah, I bet it doesn’t matter to most people, and yeah, blah blah sjw, but I disapprove of these books’ usage of shaming and other forms of damaging rhetoric aimed at children. If you want to actually teach the kids and have the message stick, bad rhetoric will do you no good. This chapter is the worst chapter when it comes to this, and hopefully I won’t have to point it out again after this chapter.

*13 This is the generic counterpart to cheerios.

*14 I thought he was holding Maggi up. Is he supporting Maggi and doing a somersault at the same time?

*15 Why is it never asked whether Maggi has tried much of anything else, or any other question that would reveal useful specifics for this situation? The elf is so determined to lecture that he doesn’t bother to really gather context to make his lectures more effective.

*16 Why is fish specifically so important? Vegetables are a diverse category of foods while fish is a subcategory meat. If he especially doesn’t like fish, wouldn’t it be better to recommend other types of meat? Maybe it’s because Iceland is an island so fish is just given a large amount of importance by default. I also still think Maggi would be happier as a vegetarian.

*17 Yes, food is something we eat. Were you concerned that someone might forget what food is?



Maggi didn’t at all understand as he almost fainted from malnutrition when he tried to think.

The elf said:

“I’ll show you this so that you remember it well.”

He lifted Maggi up onto his back*1 in one motion and ran with him on his shoulders down the street and all the way down to the dock.*2 There were boats that hadn’t moved in a long time. The Sports Elf set Maggi down on a crate, jumped aboard one of the boats*3, and said loud and clear:

“Pay attention now.”

Maggi didn’t get what was happening.*4

The Sports Elf continued, tearing a notebook page and writing on it at the same time.

“Suppose that you are here on the boat, out at sea. You catch a fish*5 right out of the sea and eat it on the spot*6. Then the fish would get a grade of 10.

If you put it in a pot and steam it, it would get a grade of 9.

If you boil it the normal way, it gets an 8.

If you forget the fish in the pot for ten minutes and it boils over then it gets a 7.”

“What else is possible to do with fish?” continued the elf, jumping up to the shore.

“Uh*7, you could fry it in a pan.” answered Maggi.

“Then it gets a 6.

If we fry it with breadcrumbs, flour and eggs then it gets a 5.”

“What about deep-frying it in a pot with oil?” asked Maggi.

“Then it only gets a 4.

If we mash it up and use it for fish stew*8 then it gets a 3. Fish stew is fish that’s been combined with various things.*9 Now what about making it into fishballs? Then it gets a 2.

“I don’t need to mention boiling it down into a pudding.*10 Then it doesn’t get a high grade.

You see that the more that food is changed from its original appearance the less healthy it becomes.*11 Have you, Maggi, my boy, ever seen a fishball swim? Fruits are very healthy because they know how to swim! No, I’m joking.” said the elf, smiling. “Fruits are healthy because you can pick them directly off the tree and eat them then.”

Yet Again, Many Notes:

*1 á háhest literally means something like “On high horse” so it’s like a piggyback ride, but that just didn’t seem to fit grammatically here.

*2 Wouldn’t this be kidnapping? Maggi’s poor mother would have no idea where her son went!

*3 Kidnapping and trespassing! Elves need not obey the laws of Man.

*4 The usual word for “understand” is replaced with botnaði which can also mean “to complete”, so I decided to use “get” to mean understand to match the word choice. Also, this is the most relatable line in the entire book.

*5 Considering that fish is Maggi’s least favorite food, it might’ve been better to start with a different example. I can remember my mom teaching me this rule with apples and peaches.

*6 INCOMING TANGENT: And here’s why I was taught it with apples and peaches: It doesn’t really apply to meat as strictly as it does to fruit. Here’s the thing about raw fish: There are dishes made in many parts of the world that use raw fish, so that, in and of itself, isn’t the problem. However, when raw fish is eaten, it is usually frozen for a long time or dried and salted as a way of killing the bacteria and worms that would normally be killed by cooking the fish. Eating raw sushi, where the fish has been frozen is not the same thing as eating a fish you just caught without doing anything else to it. That’s not safe and it’s not very healthy. Consuming dangerous bacteria and worms is not healthy. I’m ranting about this because if you’re going to teach children to eat healthy, then the last thing you should do is encourage them to eat something that could make them sick.

*7 “Nú” means “now”, but it’s often used in the place of “oh” in English. I used “uh” here instead, because it seemed more appropriate in context.

*8 Plokkfiskur is specifically an Icelandic stew made with fish.

*9 EM ASKS A STUPID QUESTION: Okay, from what I know of stew, the most common ingredients are vegetables. Say that you made a stew with meat of some sort and carrots. Raw carrots, having been processed less, are healthier than cooked carrots, but other that cooking them, nothing else would’ve been down to them. If the chopped, stewed meat is unhealthy, but the carrots are still relatively healthy, how does that affect the stew’s overall healthiness? Does the presence of the meat make the carrots less healthy? Does the presence of the carrots make the meat more healthy? If a food is made by combining multiple foods, more than just the additions of water, oil, salt, butter, or something like that, how do you score it?

*10 I’m not sure why you’d think to make fish into pudding in the first place. It doesn’t sound very good. I’m sure there are people who absolutely love it, but to me it sounds about as appealing as fish-flavored ice cream.

*11 ATTEMPT TO RETEACH PART OF A LESSON: But why? You say that food becomes less healthy, but how does that happen? The Sports Elf is very lucky that Maggi’s too dizzy from malnutrition to ask any questions. If anyone somehow doesn’t know the answer, cooking a fruit or vegetable takes moisture from it and nutrients along with it. With things like apple pie, so much butter and sugar is added in with the cooked apples than any nutritional value they may have had is negated.



“It’s like that with potatoes. If one takes a potato directly out of the garden, boils it*1 and eats it then it’s very healthy. They’re healthy with the peels on. If they, on the other hand, are cooked without the peels their healthiness decreases. Have you ever heard of someone becoming healthy because of eating potato peels?*2 Some eat that because they can’t be bothered to peel them. That’s okay. If someone makes french fries*3 out of them then they have very little nutritional value. What if they become potato chips*4? Have you eaten potato chips?”

“Yes.” said Maggi.*5

“They are very unhealthy. They give us almost none of the nutrients that we need to survive.”

Notes:

*1 So the elf knows that potatoes need to be cooked, but not that it’s unsafe to eat fish that you just caught. If Maggi weren’t fighting to remain conscious, maybe he’d wonder why raw potatoes aren’t healthy, as the least altered form of the food.

*2 First of all, no. Second, this wasn’t written with a question mark although it was clearly meant to be a question.

*3 The Icelandic words for “french fries” literally translate to “French potatoes”.

*4 Yet another question without a mark.

*5 That means that he eats more than cocoapuffs and cheerios. Yeah, that’s not healthy or helpful at all, but the book’s been acting as if Maggi literally only eats cereal. Apparently he eats a few other things that conveniently also happen to be unhealthy, so the Elf can continue having things to sternly correct.



The Sports Elf ran so fast across the dock that Maggi had difficulty following him with his eyes. He called:

“Come to me now! See here!”

Maggi stood up off the crate and could barely stagger towards him.*1 The Sports Elf took a paper from the notebook and said:

“So it is with food that the more that you prepare it the less healthy it becomes.*2”

“Yeah, I heard that.” said Maggi.

“Cocopuffs, for example, don’t grow in balls and cheerios, as you call them*3, don’t grow in rings. Have you ever seen a cocopuff tree?”

Maggi was astonished.

“A cocopuff tree! There’s no such thing as a cocopuff tree!”

“No, you’re completely right about that! Cocoaballs are created mostly out of sugar and they are thusly not very healthy.*4”

“Pay close attention, Maggi, my boy,” the elf added. “Now I’ll tell you what you should eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner.*5”

He took another paper out of his pocket*6 and wrote a menu for Maggi Scraggy. “Here are some ideas for breakfast: You can start out by having whole grain bread, for example toasted bread with cheese. It’s also good to have skyr*7, eggs or yogurt. Drink fruit juice, milk or even water. Whole grain crispbread*8 is also good and a banana or an apple.”

Notes:

*1 From my own experience with low blood sugar, having to stand up quickly is one of the most common situations to end in fainting. Considering how bad his case is, the fact that Maggi could quickly stand up and walk over to The Sports Elf is something of a miracle.

*2 Tldr, just in case anyone else was desperate to escape this chapter.

*3 The elf uses the brand name cocopuffs and cheerios, with an “as you humans call them” sort of acknowledgement. This is the closest to interesting that we’re gonna get.

*4 THE FOLLOWING NOTE WAS UNSPONSORED: But what about cheerios? No, they don’t grow on trees, but they’re made with oats without adding very much sugar. Cheerios, though just a cereal and not something one could live on alone, are pretty healthy as far as cereals go. Just because two types of cereal are both cereal, that doesn’t make them identical. Honestly, this the only thing I’ve ever heard or read that categorizes cheerios as unhealthy. I don’t believe they’re as healthy as they’re advertised to be, because no advertised food ever is, but putting them on the same level as sugary cereals doesn’t make much sense.

*5 EM FORESHADOWS FUTURE COMPLAINTS: Hold on. I can understand offering suggestions, but being that specific would just be micro-managing. The amount of specific details in these books makes the advice feel less like advice and more like a strict rulebook. Even though the following will be phrased more like suggestions, they will become part of a disturbing trend. These books are basically How NOT to Write a Role Model Character, just as much as the later show is the complete opposite.

*6 A separate sheet of paper instead of one from the notebook, apparently.

*7 Because both skyr and yogurt were mentioned, I didn’t change it for clarity this time.

*8 Crispbread is a sort of thin, cracker-like bread that’s popular in Scandinavian countries.



“Muesli*1 is also healthy and good*2 and it may be served in yogurt or skyr. But the very best is porridge. It as well as fish oil is the healthiest thing you can eat for breakfast. If you ate that every morning there would be no risk of your socks falling down. You would also do much better in sports and do even better in school.*3 The body needs healthy food and a healthy breakfast as the foundation of the day. It’s bad to be hungry in school. If you just eat cocoaballs and oat rings every morning you’ll become hungry quickly. Around ten o’clock*4 it’s good to have a glass of water. People need to drink one glass of water every two hours.*5 Then it’s nice to have a banana or grapes and then crispbread or a sandwich with tomatoes, cucumbers or cheese.*6

At twelve o’clock you need to eat a healthy lunch. Then it’s good to have fruit soup*7 or meat soup, fish, potatoes, carrots, an apple, lettuce, rice or pasta. Then it’s also good to eat meat.*8 But if there’s a time to eat a lot of bread, always have it at lunch.*9 At coffee time*10 it’s good to have fruit juice, a glass of milk or a glass of water. Iceland has the cleanest and best*11 water in the world*12 and we have to drink a lot of it. It’s good to cut a banana into little bits and put that on toasted bread. Then you may eat oatmeal cookies*13, yogurt, skyr or anything that you like and is of course healthy.

It can often be difficult for someone, who is thin, to gain weight.*14 He must be careful to not eat too much at once but many times a day. The best is to not have more than three hours between meals, but then one must also remember to brush their teeth well. When evening comes one must remember not to eat snacks for meals but a healthy and good dinner. That can be rice porridge, fish, meat, chicken*15, soybeans or pasta or anything that’s healthy and good.”

The Sports Elf but a point at the end of the note and handed the notebook page to Maggi.

He looked at it and saw that there was a menu for the day. He could follow it every day.

*16 “For some it’s not easy to gain weight,” said the elf, “but you have to eat efficiently. People often dislike food when they taste it for the first time. That’s because people have biten it and it’s bad or won’t even dare to taste it.*17 Have you ever been somewhere where a kid won’t taste the food? Maybe they say:

“I don’t eat mushrooms, I don’t eat this…”

That’s because they haven’t tasted that type of food.*18 This is why all kids should taste all foods.*19 I mean that everyone should eat different foods because people will find that they gradually become better and better.*20 There are kids who say:

“Ew, that food’s gross!” and push their plates away and never finish the food. These kids won’t become healthy or strong.*21

Even More Notes:

*1 Muesli is a sort of cold cereal that can be served in milk or yogurt. Cold cereals were unhealthy until literally just now.

*2 Count how many times the already redundant phrase “healthy and good” is used. Wouldn’t a food being healthy make it good by default?

*3 This is worded oddly. Is it implying that Maggi would do better in school than in sports, or that Maggi is already doing well in school and a healthy breakfast would make him even better?

*4 The time kept translating as ten pm or ten in the afternoon. Maybe Iceland sees time differently and 10 am is the afternoon.

*5 It’s a myth that people need to force themselves to drink water when they’re not thirsty. That can actually be bad for you.

*6 INCOMING TANGENT: I don’t know about how many snack and drink breaks Icelandic schools allow, so I can’t even be certain that this criticism is accurate, but will there really be time to get a full glass of water and a snack that involves cooked or refrigerated foods in the middle of a school morning? The norm in American schools is that during the precious few minutes between class periods, you can maybe get a few sips of water from a water fountain or maybe a snack from a vending machine, but only if you can eat it before walking into another classroom. If this is a case of Icelandic schools allowing more time for this sort of thing or even offering healthy snack options mid-morning, then that’s great, but if this is just Magnús not knowing how schools work, it’s not so great. In general, kids in grade or even high school often have little control over what they can have to eat and when they can eat it. Lunchtime is decided by the school and dinnertime is decided by whoever prepares dinner at home. It’s the same with what the food is.

*7 While most soups feature meat and/or vegetables, fruit soups do exist. They can be served warm or cold and often contain dry fruits, due to traditionally being made during winter months where fresh fruit was unavailable. They’re very popular is Scandinavian countries, and are often made as a desert in Sweden and Norway, so their use as a healthy food here is actually a little odd.

*8 Meat soup with meat. I’ve heard complaints about Lazytown that they emphasize fruits and vegetables without discussing the importance of other foods. Maybe the obsession with meat and fish in earlier works got to people.

*9 Why? I’ve never heard this before. I was taught that bread of some sort is a food staple served with every meal due to the carbs providing a lot of energy, even though sugar specifically only provides for a short time. Whole grain breads and pasta are better for full meals, with fruit, vegetables, and meat often added to them or used as a side dish. Even on this book’s menu, this applies to all meals.

*10 The Icelandic equivalent of tea time. In the UK, tea is more popular while in most of Northern Europe, coffee is more popular. For a kid, this just translates to afternoon snack time, traditionally the least healthy meal of the day.

*11 Wouldn’t the cleanest water be the best by default? Here’s another redundant remark about redundancy.

*12 Iceland does in fact have very good tap water, though I’m sure if it’s the absolute best. Apparently water in Iceland is good enough that it extends beyond tap water and you can drink directly from some lakes and streams!

*13 Hafrakex translates to oat biscuits and I’m not quite sure what they are, but pictures I’ve seen look like oatmeal cookies, even though they’re cookies, a desert food and not exactly healthy.

*14 The word “gildna” wouldn’t translate into anything coherent so I just used what made sense in context.

*15 Nitpicking, but chicken is a type of meat, isn’t it?

*16 I erased my original notes for the rest of this page due to them becoming nothing but tangents on how wrong everything is, mostly because I don’t want to sound like some sort of Moral Crusader when it comes to how to speak to children, but in general, the following moral is impossible to teach universally, as people who refuse foods can have many different reasons, while this book makes the most common mistake and assumes that they’re “just being stubborn” in a way.

*17 Nothing in this sentence makes sense. “When they first tasted it, they didn’t like it because they refused to taste it.” Two separate words for “taste” are used, but they both mean the same thing.

*18 *Removed Tangent About Assumption and Context*

*19 *Removed Tangent About Ways That This Could Go Wrong*

*20 *Removed Tangent About Trying Foods Repeatedly and Still Never Liking Them*

*21 *Removed Tangent About Shaming and How It Doesn’t Help You Make Your Point*



“Not to mention that they don’t do well in school. And people need to eat well in order to move around and take part in all sorts of games.”

The elf walked away from Maggi and looked at him while he was still reading the page and said:

“I’ll come back on Thursday.*1 Remember that your body is the only one you have. You need to take good care of it and mustn’t stuff junkfood into it like any other trashcan.*2”

Then he took a giant leap, ran off and waved goodbye.

Notes:

*1 “Fimmtudag” literally translates to “fifth day”, but it doesn’t mean “in five days”, but it instead refers to, that if you start with Sunday, Thursday is the fifth day of the week.

*2 …I got nothing.

Thank god this chapter is finally over.

[EmAsPerUsual]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:



Chapter 10: Solla Stiff*1

The elf was becoming a bit thirsty after all this running. When you exert yourself, you should always drink water. In the town square, where the town meeting had been held, was a big well.*2 He went there to drink.

“Water is the best thing for the body.” he said to himself*3 and took a big sip.

When he was done drinking and catching his breath he looked to the sky. He said to the sun who was still hiding behind the clouds:

“Well, best to continue because there’s a lot of work to do. There are only five days until the sports festival and if the townspeople need to take part in the festival being held, I must hurry.”*4

When he was about to rush off he heard what sounded like sobbing or whimpering*5 from near the town square. He checked around the corner of the house*6 and saw that there was a girl crying. He walked up to her and asked:

“Why are you crying in broad daylight? Have you lost your parents?”

The girl continued to sob and turned away.

“Tell me why you’re crying. It must be something. Has someone been teasing you or bullying you?”

“No, it’s not that.” she said.

She hid her face in her hands and sobbed even louder. The elf tried to console her. She stopped crying and looked at the elf who was beginning to look worried.

“What’s it to you?” she asked, rubbing her eyes. Then she bowed her head sadly and walked away sniffling.

The Sports Elf tugged at his beard and thought:

“Hmm, something’s up.”*7

He saw that her shoelaces were loose and swung in all directions with every step. Because of this, she was losing her shoes with every footstep.

Notes:

*1 That’s just a literal translation of Solla Stirða.

*2 This word can mean well or fountain. In general, it’s a place to drink water from.

*3 He talks to himself just to repeat what the narrator just said which he also said at least twice in the previous chapter…This is beyond ridiculous.

*4 Why is he just randomly speaking to the sun? He might as well just be talking to himself again.

*5 Both of the words used here mean the exact same thing, so I don’t know why both were used, outside of this book having some sort of fetish for redundancy.

*6 All of a sudden, a specific house is referenced with a poorly-placed definite article. I’m starting to wonder if nobody proofread this.

*7 This literally translates to “Something is now”, and I guessed that “Something’s up” would be the closest English equivalent.


This was strange. He continued quickly after the girl, put an arm around her shoulders*1 and asked:

“What’s your name?”

“Me, my name is Solla.” she answered. “I’m called Solla Stiff.”

“Solla Stiff!” said the Sports Elf surprised. “Why on Earth are you called that?”

“Do you maybe think I’m called Solla Stiff because I’m so flexible? Have you lost your mind?” she answered with a voiced cracked from crying. “That’s why I’m crying now.” she continued.

“Because I’m crazy?” asked the elf surprised.*2

“No, no, because I’m so stiff. I can’t even tie my shoes. I can’t bend down. I can’t reach down to my shoes.*3”

“That’s sad.*4” said the Sports Elf. “Have you never exercised? What about stretches?”

“No, I don’t know any stretches.” said Solla, turning around and intending to walk away.

Then the Sports Elf said: “Wait, I can teach you many exercises, so that you can become more flexible.”

“You teach me stretches! You’re so old and bearded. I don’t think you know any stretches.”

Solla didn’t know that he did regular exercises every evening of his life. He was the most flexible in all the world.*5

“Yeah, and isn’t it too late? I’m turning twelve years old.*6” asked Solla.

“No, no, it’s never too late.” said the Sports Elf. “I’ll show you some exercises that you can do.”

“Are you saying that,”*7 said Solla, “by doing these exercises I can maybe bend all the way down to my shoelaces?”

“Yes, yes, you’ll be able to do that easily and much more.”

“I’ve never heard of that sort of thing.*8” said Solla Stiff.

“See here now.” said the elf. “In order to become more flexible you need to do these exercises for around five to ten minutes every day.”

Notes:

*1 Personal space is another human custom that elves appear to know nothing about.

*2 I can’t tell if he’s supposed to be genuinely confused or teasing. It’s implied to be genuine, which would make sense for Sportacus in the show, but The Sports Elf of the books knows everything and can do everything, so it feels weird here.

*3 I’d like to think that the redundancy here is because Solla is slowly spelling it out for this old man who’s clearly very stupid, from what she can tell. However, it’s probably just the book being redundant again.

*4 This literally translates to “That’s ugly to hear”, with “ugly” clearly meaning “sad”, but I cut out the “to hear” because it sounds better in English without it.

*5 Start making a list of things The Sports Elf is the best at in all of the world. It’ll be a long list with several claims that the story can’t back up. Sports Elf = Blatant Mary Sue Self-Insert until other writers got involved.

*6 Yes, though Stephanie is only eight, Solla is twelve. In general, I think the Latibær kids are a few years older than the Lazytown kids, though GGiL’s Siggi feels around the same age as Ziggy in the show. This matches the original books and plays possibly being intended for slightly older children than the show’s target audience. When the audience is four, the characters are eight, and when the audience is eight, the characters are twelve.

*7 Here’s another sentence that didn’t need to be broken up like that. Even if it’s not incorrect, some of these grammatical choices are bizarre.

*8 The line here literally translated to “I’ve never heard of this.”, which doesn’t sound quite right in English, so, just like the removal of words in *4, I added words to make it sound more natural.


“You must have something smooth under you. Either a mattress, a blanket, a pillow, carpet or grass like there is there.”

The elf pointed out a patch of grass between the houses.

“Start by sitting in the grass and stretching your arms*1 forward. Then stretch your arms further and further forward. Make sure that your back is straight! Bit by bit move your fingers towards your shoes. Stay in this position for about two minutes and then go slowly back. Repeat this three or four times and always try to reach further and further each time.

Here’s another exercise. You lay on your back, leave one leg*2 lying down but stretch the other straight up in the air. Next, you move your hands up towards your foot.*3 Stretch your leg slowly.

Notes:

*1 The word for “hands” is used instead of arms, but the arms are what’s being stretched, so it seemed like a better fit.

*2 Just like above with hands and arms, here it referred to feet, but I said legs instead.

*3 This one’s still pretty confusing, so if you actually want to learn this for whatever reason, just copy the picture.


“You can also try sitting with a long distance between your feet and stretching to each side.”

He continued to talk and show her exercises. At first, Solla was extremely tired. As soon as she sat down and had to keep her back straight, she found it to be horribly painful. The Sports Elf explained to her that the exercises would get gradually easier.

“Just remember to exercise slowly and hold each stretch for 30-40 seconds.”

He wrote the exercises on a paper, one after another. He showed Solla how to do a split*1, and how to*2 stand on one foot and hold the other. He could do it all easily.

Notes:

*1 “Fara í splitt” literally means “go in split” the “og spíkat” part simply wouldn’t translate, but it’s most likely just a longer form of “fara í splitt”.

*2 This sentence is written as listing three separate actions: Doing a split, standing on one foot, and holding the other foot, but the last two are part of the same action, so I wrote the sentence as two separate actions instead.

He said that one day, she could do some of these exercises, but first she would have to train well. Solla was thrilled. The elf helped her tie her shoes and said that he would visit her in a few days to see how the exercises were going. He placed his notebook neatly in his pocket and went sprinting down the street.

“Watch out! You’re heading for the fire hydrant!” cried Solla.

In the middle of the street stood a fire hydrant. Just before the elf came to it, he jumped up in the air and over it and called back to Solla:

“Don’t worry, I just jump over those!”

(I have no notes for this page. The next chapter has very few pictures, which means walls of text. That might take a while.)

[lalalei2001]

Re: Latibær Books Translated:

The reason he's talking to the sun, I think, is because she's sort of a guardian spirit of LazyTown that doesn't really do anything.