Parenting

[PrivateBrain]

Sometimes, I think about becoming a parent someday.

Because I wouldn't want things to get too complicated, I think I'd want to have only one child. Also, I keep thinking that I'd want a girl -- partly because I have a nice name in mind and partly because I admire women. Since I imagine that it would be difficult to predetermine the gender, I suppose I'd have to adopt.

Generally, I wonder: How does one become a good parent?

I figured this would be a good topic for discussion. We could bounce ideas around.

[Glanni's Girl]

Re: Parenting

I suppose I'd have to adopt.

I wish more people would. I know a Woman who has spent at least fifty thousand pounds on IVF to have one child, where as if she had adopted she wouldve got the gender she wanted (having a boy, wanted girl) the government gives you money to help raise adopted children and, most importantly, you're giving a child a proper childhood.

[hlazytownero]

Re: Parenting

Sometimes, I think about becoming a parent someday.
...
Generally, I wonder: How does one become a good parent? ...

How to become good parents? (Have you tried to find an answer on Google or another search engine about it? )

Speaking seriously, I've thought about this issue several times and always came to the same conclusion: as every person is different from the others, is simply impossible "to have” a "User manual for parents” or "How to bear a successful paternity" that guarantees total success. There is not such a thing. You can find lots and lots of books dealing with this issue, but none of them have THE answer for each particular person. No, sir. Instead, there are general guidelines of behavior and conduct to be taught to children (besides of love and affection for your kids, of course), which are very obvious as part of an integral formation of a person in modern society (even if you consider the religious variations, often imposed by the geographic location, more than anything else. Of course, I'm not talking about extremist religious societies). They help either by instinct or habit (and if you have a little luck) to motivate the kids to do certain things (called "good" or "appropriate") and refrain to do others (called "bad" or "harmful").

It is a precarious balance between being patient, positive, having quality time to your kids and apply the required discipline when it be necessary (appropiate from any point of view and, specially, on time). That, in principle, should help in the upbringing of children. It doesn’t ensure a successful education for the kids but at least is the best starting point that comes to my mind to undertake such a work.

However, despite all this, parenthood (like marriage or commitment to live together in couples to form a family) was NOT made for losers. It can not be otherwise. It is one of the most important things of human life. A failure on this matter (or thinking of it in a different way) involves delving deeper into the social problems of our societies. Of course there are exceptions such as paternity imposed by cultural or religious reasons or by violence events.

So, if the goal is to be good parents (whether by natural conception methods, or being attended by labs or by adoption methods), the first requirement to fill out is very simple to me (but incredibly important): to be prepared and fully committed for this work, both in economic level, as in the mental level. Otherwise, it will be a huge waste of time, money, effort and lives.

Greetings,
H.

[PrivateBrain]

Re: Parenting

Have you tried to find an answer on Google or another search engine about it?

I use Google for everything, so I totally would and did.

I just thought it would be more fun and interesting to start a discussion about this topic.

[Master Of Disguise]

Re: Parenting

I'm not thinking of adoption it's a bigger responsibility than having my own child.
As for being a parent, I promised myself once that I'll try to be a perfect father and do my best to make my child(ren) happy, I won't let them have a childhood like mine.